I greeted Monday morning with a knot in my stomach, which inhibited me from having breakfast, and a great deal of nervousness; since it was my very first day teaching at a University…. All of the sudden, I blinked and somehow I find myself deep in the library (in a corner I have made my own) surrounded by books, papers, articles, some food (I decided to treat myself to a proper lunch today)… Oh the struggle of the economically challenged grad-student, perhaps a blog of it’s own; some day….
Where did the week go, another Monday is luring not too far away and I am not even half way done with all the assignments that are soon due…. Despite these little obstacles, such as not being able to properly eat throughout the day (due to a lack of funds and time, time being the least negotiable one), I am enjoying this new adventure that took place at the last few years of my twenties; approaching 30 is another issue of it’s own…
While I read and took notes on different topics, I decided to take a short break and go through some of my favorite reads, on this particular occasion I came across a challenge by http://aopinionatedman.com/2015/08/19/a-challenge-to-my-readers/, whom got the original challenge from http://kasimskorner.com/; where we are prompted to kindle sympathy towards a man that kills his own brother…
Usually, when we think of an act of doing away with another individual’s life, particularly among siblings, it is seen as a horrific act of cruelty and inhumane nature, of course, 99.9% of the time it is… At times and on rare occasions, however, it could be perceived as an act of kindness, not any less horrific but perhaps somewhat more humane…
-I’m fed up with this bullshit- said Sebastian, for the hundredth time, as the nurse checked his IV bag. –Watch what you say around your brother- his step-mother reminded him. Gabriel, Sebastian’s half brother, was only six years old when his hero fell severely ill with something non of the adults could properly explain to him, all he knew was what he could see; his favorite person in the world was in a lot of pain strapped to a big and loud machine that scared him a bit. He didn’t want Sebastian to know that he was afraid of the machine, he wanted to be brave like his brother.
Despite the ill affection that Sebastian had towards his step-mother, he loved Gabriel dearly and he tried to stay strong for him; he had been enduring his condition for almost a year…
-How are you doing big guy??- Sebastian asked his young admirer. -I’m fed up with school, but Miss Mitchel said it was ok for me to be here with you, after mom talked to her so I could be with you-. He said this as he handed him a small frame he had made in art class using shell-noodles, it contained a picture of the two of them at a soccer game; Gabriel was on Sebastian’s shoulders.
Sebastian was speechless, he could take the pain as long as he had his “big guy” with him. The sickness, however, was slowly eating away his good humor, due to the pain that he could hardly resist; but Gabriel made the days more bearable.
As the afternoon went by, it was time for Gabriel to go home and for Sebastian to get some rest; while the adults were talking, Gabriel decided to sneak back in the room with the big-loud-scary-machine. He always wondered how his brother could rest with so much noise, to his surprise his brother wasn’t sleeping he was on the phone with someone…
“It’s probably Lily, his girlfriend” he thought, as the conversation went on; before he left the room he herd his brother say, -I wish someone would just pull the plug, you know?- he had a weak voice and gave a low snicker; while gasping for air…
Gabriel left the room to give his brother some privacy, he was sure he was talking with Lily, who else would it be. Gabriel knew that Sebastian cared for her a lot, he was always talking about her and before the illness, Sebastian and Lily would lock themselves up in Sebastian’s room for hours to do homework together. That was another reason why Gabriel tried to do well in school, so that someday, when he was 17 like his brother, he could study for long hours in his room; with a girl as pretty as Lily… “Of course he wants someone to pull the plug, that machine is too loud” Gabriel thought… He wanted to help his brother so he decided to go back in side. As he opened the door of the room slightly, to see if Sebastian was still on the phone, he saw that Sebastian was finally sleeping and breathing with difficulty… Ever so quietly, he went around the bed, conquering his fear of the big machine and pulled the plug… “There, now you should be able to sleep better” he thought… After a short period of time, a nurse rushed into the room to see why the sign had gone off for room 313, she found Gabriel by his brother’s bed shaking him because he had stopped breathing.. Soon Gabriel’s mom (whom had been looking for him in the bathroom) and dad walked in, both of them in shock; they soon understood what had happened…
A door opened in a small coffee shop, with it came in a cold breeze and Gabriel was brought back from this painful reverie, 20 years had passed since that evening at the hospital. Despite people explaining to him that what he had done wasn’t murder, but rather an accident, Gabriel had a difficult time accepting that as truth.
“I killed my brother”, Gabriel thought, as he sipped his espresso. “I hope you are sleeping well Sebastian, I miss talking to you and I miss our camping nights in the back yard.”
Mind Chronicles 