Bitter -Sweet

Pain is such a misunderstood sensation… Emotional pain at least, no one can argue about physical pain; we learn to avoid it.  Emotional pain, however, we tend to look for (most of us are emotional cutters, in one way or another), we strive in various ways to bring back a memory, whether it’s the smell of cologne, an inside joke (they become more frequent the little devils) that immediately releases a train wreck of intertwined memories from different happy times… Enhanced by his absences…
But the sweet-bitter-feeling-of-longing towards that significant other, is somehow addicting…
Why can’t I just let you go?? Why can’t I  stop wondering how you’re doing??
I’ve made curiosity my comrade, she seeks answers to the questions that keep me up in my solitude, depriving me of sleep…
In the endless silence of time, I can hear the rain echoing off of the crevices in my soul… The words of emptiness reverberate through out my vacuous self…
And then I miss you… I crave your lips, your touch… I can feel you near…
That’s the bitter moment, the unbearable pain of wanting someone or something unattainable… Acknowledging the bitter pain and releasing it (usually through tears brought on by a relevant movie or song, there may or may not be junk food involved), brings on the final sweetness that hooks us….

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