An unavoidable Urge…

Time… Such an inconspicuous luxury… For the last six days, I have been dedicating most of this luxury to preparing my self for an exam… I have quite missed letting my mind wonder on its own accord, to do and think as it pleases; instead of focusing on how cells interact with one another and all the side effects each little signal and molecule bring.
Cause an effect, just like everything else, I suppose not even molecules are exempt from it… It has in deed been a hell of a week, shamelessly I confess I am enjoying a glass (a few sips really) of red wine, while I listen to “La vie en rose” by Edith Piaf, a light breeze plays with my hair… It’s finally starting to get chilly.. I love this weather, “life is good”… I know I always say this, but every time it proves to be true.
As I write, I can hear my sister cocktail  soft screeches of frustrated pleasure… I am no bird expert, but I believe she has finally reached maturity, in her cage she has this lumpy toy with a little bell attached to it. It hangs near one of her mirrors, and it I think to her (due to lack of experience I am sure) it looks like another bird or close enough at least… And maybe even the bell gives her positive reinforcement in her love quest, since it somehow answers to her…
About a month ago I noticed this poor little creature’s change in behavior, she gently puffs up near this lumpy toy, and lifts her tail (talk about being easy!), flirting in good faith…I think.  As time kept going, with no good outcome, she has now resolved to a more active and assertive technique… She holds herself right beneath it, and chirps/screeches every so often, and waits expectant for an end that never comes… She has become quite frisky, she doesn’t let people pet her anymore.. Poor thing, it’s actually heart breaking, and a bit amusing…. I sort of understand her… It’s an unsettling, gut wrecking feeling… Who likes feeling rejected and frustrated?!
After all, these urges are not just with in our species, many mammals enjoy some “sexy time”, even some reptiles, like turtles, find pleasurable release outside of mating seasons. I am sure, no matter the species, we all enjoy the biochemical secretion of oxytocin, endorphines, and other transmitters…
I got home 20 minutes ago, and knowing that I have the entire afternoon free is a little unnerving… Too much free time can drive a person crazy (no wonder women in the 1800s saw witches, ghosts, and demons… some even went psycho) and lack of time hunts us all. What a huge and unfair paradox…
With a light breeze, and a kind sunny day that promises not to scorch my skin, I decide to enjoy a “pool day”… I think, for today I can take a day of “il dolce far niente”, surely like wine, (if done in moderation) it behooves the soul and calms the mind… 🙂


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