What is the limit to honesty? Is saying things the way they are, or how you truly feel, the best way to be? Or is it best to keep things to yourself most of the time, and say what people want to hear half of the time, all for the sake of being at peace and not risking hurting any body’s feelings? I have been told, at times, that I can be harsh, and that is only because I don’t really sugar coat my opinions or thoughts, though I do try to explain them in the nicest way possible, contrary to certain believes, I am not a heartless, evil, selfish bitch… I am extremely honest and opinionated; recently however(by recently I mean in the last hour or so),  I started thinking that perhaps “opinionated and honest” is not a very good combination.  Why share your thoughts with the people that mean the most to you, if later it will come back to bite you in the rear? But then again, if you are pretending otherwise, or keeping your thoughts to yourself, what is the point of thinking?
I feel as if a metaphorical rug has been pulled from underneath me. To a degree, having a hypothetical rug disappear from underneath you, is worse than having the actual rug unbalance your stance… The sense of falling, when the rug is hypothetical, is ever lasting, you keep preparing for some sort of impact that never comes. Through the eternal falling, one is able to analyze every angle of a situation, and according to each person, I suppose, we reach to different conclusions.  I suppose as well that, culture and background, must have an imperative effect on how we all reach a conclusion.  Not too long ago, a different angle on what I previously wrote was brought to my attention; and though I never meant it in a harmful way, I never thought that, to other people, it could be.  Before I develop any further on this particular post, I must clarify some things. I truly do consider myself  a lucky girl, in many aspects of life.
1) I have been blessed with amazing parents and siblings (amazing, not perfect). They support my every whim, they love me unconditionally, and though we do have scary fights, at the end of the day, we know that we have each other. 2) I am an intellectual and analytical person, bubbly, honest, happy,  and compassionate as far as personality goes, and quite decent as far as physical appearances go. 3) As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, in the love aspect, I am also lucky. What I perhaps did not mention (mainly because it slipped my mind in the spur of the moment, and partly because I was quite cold and I wanted to relocate) is that though my future family to be is quite different, (and may not know me fully) I have been blessed with loving, sweet, and somewhat easy to get along with people (as easy as it ever is to get along with people that don´t share the same language, traditions, and believes).   As far as mothers in law goes, I am quite fortunate.  Yes, we differ a lot in our views of life, religion, and marriage, but we do get along. I should also mention that we love and care for each other, and though our relationship has not developed fully, it has had a great start.  I do not consider her a monster in law, as so many other unfortunate souls have confessed to me about their own personal experiences.  And quite honestly, I would like to break the chain of tradition regarding mother-daughter in law relationships.
Now, once again, the notion of differences comes to mind, as well as the way in which we interpret our surroundings.  Communication is a deceiving word, it seems rather simple having very few letters (some of them repeated), and quit harmless in its meaning. In verity, it is a double edge sword, quite useful if both parties reach the same understanding, but extremely harmful if something between exchanges is missing or misinterpreted.  Why is it then that people venture and seek to bring two different worlds together at such high risks?  One says blue, and the other may see black, one sees orange, and the other says tulips.  On an every day basis,  and when it comes to interacting with one another, we are hardly on the same page. Perhaps this is why, at a cellular level, communication between cells (and the effects unleashed by an interpretation of messages), are highly and meticulously regulated.  It is not merely an action reaction event, rather, it is a cascade of actions and reactions that lead to one final event.  Perhaps if we all communicated this way, there would be less misunderstandings, less arguments, and less hurt feelings.  This holds true with any types of relationship, not just the romantic type.  Though in my personal case, it mainly pertains to the romantic relationship.  How can we move forward if one side perceives the other as malicious, or does not have a full understanding of the unraveling mind of the other.  If either side is not able to see things from a different perspective other than his/her own, if one side feels deprived, or limited and can’t be honest about it, can a relationship (and a marriage) emerge victorious through out time and history? I doubt that without honesty, trust, and scrupulously intensive attempts at good communication (which so far have proven to be the key to any sort of relationship), a marriage can survive.  Though only life and time  will tell…


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